


Counterweight Continents

by Daegaer



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 8th Century CE, Demons, Gen, Geography, Humor, Monks, The Patrick Incident, Triple Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:28:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21586144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: Crowley comes across an odd geographical theory in 8th century Salzburg.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 64





	Counterweight Continents

Salzburg was a dump, Crowley decided. No doubt it would be _lovely_ once it had coffee-houses, opera and interesting clothing on interesting people, but right now in the eighth century it was _not_ holding his interest.

"I hate this town," he muttered, kicking a stone out of his way and into the backside of a passing nun.

"Feck it, it's not so bad," the monk strolling beside him said. "I'm thinking of staying, myself."

Crowley stiffened. He hadn't heard that accent for quite a while.

"What, if I may ask, is your policy on snakes?" he said carefully.

"Don't really have one," the monk shrugged. "What's your's on the idea of a spherical earth and the existence of Australia?"

"I -" Crowley said. "Um. _What?_ " He squinted at the monk, who seemed quite normal, apart from being clearly mad. "How do you know about Australia?"

"The Irish are great travellers," the monk said complacently. "We get everywhere. America, Australia, Tír na nÓg - you name it, we get there and then we write about it."

"You write bollocks, it sounds like," Crowley said. " _Sure_ you've no policy on snakes?"

"Indeed I am, although I will attest to the existence of New Zealand," the monk said.

"They do a nice range of Pinot Noirs there. Or they will, eventually," Crowley said. The expression on the monk's face all too clearly said, _Oh, I know_. "Well, enjoy Salzburg. I'm off to more civilized parts."

He left, wondering what on earth people on that blessed island had been up to since the Patrick incident. Best not to know really. It was a bloody awful place and he was glad to have been turfed out. 

No need to worry about it or one of its crazy monks. Nobody would ever hear about the fellow again, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> [ Saint Vergilius (Fergal) of Salzburg](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vergilius_of_Salzburg) was an Irish monk working in various European countries after a pilgrimage to Palestine. He had been an abbot in Ireland famed for his geographical knowledge, and ended his career as Bishop of Salzburg. He was twice accused of heresy for spreading views on the earth as a sphere, and the existence of an antipodean landmass.


End file.
